It has most often been the case that Spanish monarchs have not been particularly good-looking. Indeed, it has often been observed that "the reign in Spain stays mainly on the plain."
As the pudgy scholar observed while patting his ample tummy, "While it is true that a mind is a terrible thing to waste, it is also true that a waist is a terrible thing to mind."
If a bride wants to follow wedding protocol, all she needs to do is go to the local zoo and arrange the loan of an elderly, clinically depressed wildebeest.
If all the campaigners, working for the current crop of candidates, got together to discuss their personal choices for President, would their meeting be called a "staff'll-a-caucus?" Would medication help?